"Unless I go my whole life without blowing a load into a girls mouth."

ROFL that made me laugh so much xD

"YOU SHOULD DO THE TOASTER UNTIL IT COMES TOAST THEN I'LL DO TEH TOAST."

Yush
It has 4 places of toast
That's 2 vaginas

LOLOLOLOL! xD

"Don't grope my mewbs. They're sensitive :("

LMAO!

NEWTS!
I LIKE YOUR NEWTS!

NEWTSH

CLAPPING

*STEALS*
MINE

CHARLOTTE CHURCH!
CRAZY CHICK!

FLAG
WATER
PEOPLE

CHAV!
MONG!
HEART!
I HEART YOU!

FAT CHICK

*Rubs boobs in face*

FISH PASTE

FLOWERS!

*Noms*

CAR!
LOUIS WALSH!
GAY PENGUIN!

SITTING ON A CHAIR SIDEWAYS

I WISH I KNEW WHAT THE FUCK WAS GOING ON HERE :L

CLEAR LUBE!
LIGHT BULB

What the fuck? xD

- Haha
- It's okay
- Glove
- *Globe
- !
- !!
- FAIL

What??

- There was a globe
- And I said "glove"

A globe where?

- On teh TV!

- What's the female equivalent of a penis?
- Because I think with that lmao.
- Oh yes.
- A vagina.

"Whaaata?" xD

Tom - I jizzeded on your unimacorn :E

Me - Who nicked your corn?

Tom - What?

Me - Mmm corn :E

Cocktail weenies!

Stupid Americans :L

"MEEEEEEEELK!"

Me and Claire are just too cool ;D

I put a conker in Jack's yoghurt today when he wasn't looking :]
Tehe... I'm so mischievious xD

The best part was when he threw it on the floor and all the yoghurt splatted up his trousers :L

FUCKING RETARD <3

I wish I knew what "sexually conjoined Tamagotchis" were :L

Tom's imagination shows itself through text ahaha ;D

Dinosaur 'plater'

Heals all boo-boos :]

DING DONG! - It's 7pm

DING DONG! - It's 7:15pm

DING DONG! - It's 7:30pm

DING DONG! - It's 7:45pm

DING DONG! - It's 8pm

Shut the fuck up! xD Lmao!
Bloody churches...
;)

Fat kid fell off his scooter xD

I hope Jazz liked her birthday present xD

AHAHA! I picked up some aluminium plates from her table after entering her house and gave them to her :L

Happy birthday!!

Nah, I gave her presents to her before everyone else did. Got her a plastic dustpan and brush toy xD Someone must've chucked it out of the window because I left it in the sink :L Maybe Emma took it outside xD

Me + Jack (alone) + kitchen + closed door = Silly String fight + Chinese 5 spice 'meal'
LMAO!

Shall I explain? :L

Me and Jack decided to play in Jazz's kitchen together xD

I found a can of Silly String whilst going through all the cupboards, which lead into a fight :L
It was all over our clothes and in our hair xD

After we'd used up the entire can, we got bored and decided to mix together salad cream, flour, golden syrup, Chinese 5 spice, ketchup and salad dressing :L

Watching him deeply inhale it was fucking hilarious! He was gagging and scraping it in the bin xD
LOLOLOLOL good times :)

I was complaining that I was hungry yesterday...

Nan came waddling into the dining room with an entire box of fish fingers xD
LMAO! Not only did I tell her that I didn't want them, she dropped them all over the floor :L :L
Every single one of them xD

This is why you should love old people ;D

Me and Tom saw this little girl who was obviously a complete dare devil ;D

Not only did she climb onto this silver motorbike monument without the help of her mummy, she was a hardcore driver ;) You could tell by her evil stare :L

Then she got her dress caught on the seat when she was getting off of it... displaying her lovely knickers to us all xD LMAO!

I TOLD YOU SHE'D DO THAT! :L

Someone's gotta buy me a mustard coloured jumper ;D
Maaaaaaan, that old guy was a fittie :L

Oh, I do have some bloody good times sitting on that bench in Littleport <3