LMAO!
Me and Emma finished our citizenship test a little early, so we decided to make a paper picnic :L

We had paper ham, bread, peas, beans, chicken, icecream, chocolate, lettuce, tomatoes, beef and chips etc.
xD

Me and Tom were watching Bizzare ER...

This guy had a plank of wood stuck in his arse and they kept showing a photo of it.
xD ROFL!

Then they showed us a picture of his blocked out hard on for some reason :L

Epic typo:

"Ninja nomber!"

xD

By 'nomber' I mean 'boner' :L :L

"Would you lose your balance if you shaved all the hair off one side of your body?" :L

Someone should ask Siavash.
LMAO!

"Save me, Jesus!"

"No! FUCK YOU!"

*ZAP!*

I just found an extract from an old diary of mine.
Good times - geography lessons :L

"Brendan, Matt and Nathan were putting random objects down their trousers today to make it look like they had HUGE boners. It really was rather funny!"

Enough said about that ;D

I think there's something wrong with my nan :L

Every time I see her, she's like "do you want some of my fat?!"

ROFL! The answer is the same every time... NO!
She might as well give up now :L

I can't believe I thought that Stephen was in a completely different time zone to me :$
LOL! He lives in Ireland...

Probably one of the best blonde moments of my life so far :L

I quite enjoyed going into Boots with Emma one day after school >:)

I turned her into half a black man! :D

I like it when my wifey lets me play with fake tan.
'Tis entertaining.

I was sitting at Kathryn's desk, doodling on some white post-it notes.
I decided to make several mini paper aeroplanes with them :)

Me and Richard then had a big fight with them and threw at each other and all over her room :L

Lolz. Poor Kathryn.

MR. BONER!

*Pats*

TREE?! TREE?!

I love you, Mr. Wright (L)
LMAO!

My dad just brought a plate of chips into my room

Next to the plate there was a large tomato...
It had a note attached to it :L :L

"IBUTOMFEN Tablet

To help cure depression
Nil by mouth (don't swallow)
This is a suppository (shove up arse)

I LOVE YOU, SARAH xxx"

Fucking retard (L)
It was even written in his crappy block capitals :L

Mum went to get herself some dinner and dad decided he was going to use her MSN to talk to me...

Dad: Hi there. This is Dr. Cum Stains!

*Conversation*

HOW DID IT TURN INTO THIS??

Me: Is that the same as bashing the bishop? :O

Dad: The same as dealing the deck

Me: YANKING THE YOGHURT POT?

Dad: LOL! :L :L

Me: I can hear the Gay Gees

Dad: How do you think I feel? I was named after one of them! :(

Chris made a sequence of orgasm :D

:):):):D:D:D:O:O:O~ *SPLAT*

Jack + blue sheep stamp = BAD
:L :L

Hurrah for crappy Wilkinson's stationary!

Anyway, there was a little bit of a fight with it...
Me and Emma went home with BLUE SHEEPY ARMS :)

Nan: *Puppy dog eyes* "Don't you wanna get as fat as me?"

:L :L

NO!

I was playing Mario Party on my DS :)

Tom asked me if I was playing 'Mole Thrill'

"I'm cutting the cucmumber!"

"Cucmumber?"

"CUMCUMber"

:D

Hooray for 'Cucumber Jacks' :L

I was in the pound shop with my crewage so that I could buy myself a bottle of water.

I picked one up, went to pay for it and the Indian guy behind the counter was like "you can get 3 bottles of water for £1.50"

So I said "I only want one!"

His reply: "YOU'LL REGRET IT!!"

LMAO!!

That was sooooooooooooo funny! :L :L

*SEXPLODE*

I dribbled on Emma's hand once :L :L

No idea what was so funny, but I completely lost control and it went everywhere xD

I'll never forget the time my retarded rabbit got stuck in between two fences xD
Thumper was awesome (L)

He was quite a fat rabbit. I'd say bordering obese :L
He thought he'd be clever and try to jump over the fence so that he could hump his brother :L
However, he got stuck xD

I remember him squealing as I had to go and rescue him :L :L
(L)

Fuck. I loved that rabbit :D

Me and Tom were near the private tea rooms (the ones that "confuse his nose") and we laid under this tree together when it was raining once. I felt really sorry for the leaf that failed at camouflaging itself :L :L

50p - 1 Jiggle

xD

I came home from Jazz's house one day and mum was sitting on the back doorstep, smoking. I fell over in the garden immediately after opening the gate (it had been snowing tbf) and I just laid there laughing like a complete maniac. Then I tripped over on the way into the house and walked into the table.

Dad: "Sarah, have you been drinking?"
*Concerned face*

I was completely sober :L :L

"Hugs and kisses go together like drum and bass. Drum and bass go together like Tom and Sarah"

:)

I actually LOVE Jeremy's impression of a gay guy! I know that makes no sense because he IS gay, but this just takes it to the extreme xD

"If you say that again, then I'm gonna scratch your fuckin' eyes out, bitch!"
(L)

I'm not sure if I like the fact that Mrs. Dewey chats me up :L :L
It's going on this blog anyway :)

*Touches forehead*
"Oh, Sarah! You feel so hot!"

"You look beautiful!"

"Have you had your hair cut? It looks lovely!"

:S
Okaaaaaaay then! :L

Phil was telling me about Matt Tuck's number fail...

"On the count of 3!"

*Holds up 4 fingers*

:L :L

I remember the time that I was in maths, and someone informed me that the floor was covered in glitter... ¬¬

*cough* EMMA *cough* :L

I had a muscular spasm and went crashing into four chairs and fell over like a complete retard xD

Okay, so Jack was a few hours late...

ONLY 5 and a half hours late, actually :L

But... he stood in shit within minutes of joining us (L)
You've gotta love the retard :)

:L That almost made up for it

Me and Tilly have had some AMAZING times shopping together :L

I dread to think how many portions of chips I've bought her, but I don't care because I love my babes :)
(L)

I'll never forget the time me and my chums decorated Jazz's bedroom for her :)

Jazz: "Who drew that penis?"
Me: *Points to Emma*
Emma: *Points to me*

*Evil grin*
IT WAS ME, JAZZ! I DREW THAT PENIS!

I guess that's what happens when you let me inhale large amounts of Febreeze and give me a few Sharpie pens ;)

I think we did a pretty good job tbh
:D

Peodophidlian, weird coloured bushes, beige outfits, funny looking baby, the woman in white, mong duck, retarded dog, weird guys that quacked at each other, orange juice box, WHAM, ostrich burger, "I'm on a boat" dance :)

Tom (L)